R.E.F.R.A.M.E. THE SHAME
Behavior is information, not evidence of character.
I'm the Blame Game, are you always "it"? Do you volunteer for the part?
There is a direct link between trauma and neurodivergent minds. The two go hand in hand, whether the chicken or the egg came first. Many of those s grew up feeling different. Like we didn't quite fit in. We may have had friends, but looking back, those friends were usually pretty toxic. And we thought the way they treated us was normal. We often assumed responsibility for others or took the blame even if when we didn't know exactly how things were our fault. "I'm sure it was something I did." Is a phrase I used too many times over the course of my lifetime. My identity built in the "fact" that I messed things up. At my core I thought there was something wrong with me deep inside. Rejection Sensitivity Disorder (RSD) made sure I felt it on a daily basis. It was no wonder to me why I was ignored, left out, or worse. I didn't even like myself, why would anyone else?
Shame affected every aspect of my life. No, shame was the machine that ran my life.
And noone suspected. My friends knew me as funny, outgoing, weird, and "crazy in a good way". Acquaintances either like bed me or hated me. It took a lifetime to figure out that the "Double Empathy Problem“ was behind that.
A woman who appears to have her life in order might be falling apart of the inside. A person who appears lazy may be overwhelmed by executive-function demands. A child who appears defiant may be protecting autonomy, confused, dysregulated, afraid, exhausted, sensory overloaded, or unable to meet a demand. A teacher who appears disorganized may be drowning in a system that requires more executive function than any one person can keep supplying. The behavior is visible. The WHY underneath it usually is not.
AuDHDaptations begins with a different question: What is happening underneath this, and what would support success? That question does not excuse harmful behavior or erase accountability. It gives us enough information to respond with compassion and agency, change the conditions that are not working, build missing skills, repair harm, and practice a more sustainable way forward.
R.E.F.R.A.M.E. uses archetypal psychology and Loreology to help you restory your life. It's a new prescription for an old pair of glasses. It helps you clear the blurry parts so you can see who you truly are in the mirror. It helps you bring about your authenticity so you can let live out your passions.
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START HERE: SOMETHING YOU CAN USE TODAY
Use the P.E.A.C.E. Method when your nervous system is activated, ask five questions to look underneath a difficult behavior, or choose an article that gives language to something you have been living.
THE LITTLE TREE GREW UP
We do not make a tree grow by demanding that it try harder.
We learn what kind of tree it is, how much light and water it needs, what the soil contains, what damaged its roots, and what is crowding out its growth. Children and adults are more complex than trees, of course, but we often offer them less curiosity.
The Little Tree Grew Up is the foundational story taking shape inside AuDHDaptations. It gives children and adults a shared language for talking about growth, safety, difference, unmet needs, and the conditions that help a person thrive. The story will live in more than one place, as a children's book, a workshop opening, an audio experience, and a source of family activities, but every version will protect the integrity of the original story.
